How “personal” is the game to you?

So we had a lot of guild drama this week.  Huge interpersonal conflicts between important characters and officers.  In the end, as the GL, I had to have some difficult discussions with people.  There were hard feelings, heated tells exchanged, and a few /gquits.  Our Kara team is in shambles, which only worsens the problem.

After the dust had settled I felt terrible.   I haven’t signed on to my main since it happened.  I think about it constantly.  I am wracked with guilt for the feelings that I hurt.

But as I think it over, I realize that many people aren’t like that.  Some of those who I spoke to obviously think of this as completely a game, with no connection to actual people.  When they say things they don’t actually consider the feelings of the persons on the other side of the keyboard.  To those players, its all “unreal” and if people get offended or upset at what they say and do then must be taking things too seriously.

I can’t relate to that.  As Guild Leader, every /gquit hurts me and makes me question what I could have done to make that person’s play more enjoyable.  Every complaint that I hear represents a flaw in my leadership.  My guild members are my friends and I strive to make them feel at home in the guild.

This past week has made me more cynical.  I feel like I should try to distance myself from my virtual life.  I should try to harden myself and not be so attached.  I should treat it more like a game and less like a “second life.”

Or should I?


2 Responses to “How “personal” is the game to you?”

  1. February 4, 2008 at 5:43 am

    You need to find that balance between game and “second life”. It’s different for everyone.

    I also find it hard to not take the social relationships in the game as seriously as I do reality. It’s not different for me and when people are goofing off and causing wipes and not treating the game seriously, they are wasting my time and everyone elses as well. Alternately, social negatives (whining, arguing, blaming, etc.) ruins the experience for everyone. Not only that but there’s a trickle effect going forward. Those negatives taint everything associated with them. Sounds like you feel that towards your main right now and thus your aversion to logging on.

    Good luck, Dinaer. I hope you don’t stop playing because of this, but rather find whatever you need to move on. Besides, I can’t lose another Rogue blogger. ~_^

  2. February 5, 2008 at 12:26 am

    I appreciate the concern, Valenna. Don’t worry about me. I’ve invested too much of myself into this guild to just let it fade away. Those who stayed are focused on a quick return to our former level of performance (as mediocre as that was). We have some new 70s and were are going to do rapid-fire instance runs to gear them up ASAP and dive back into Kara.

    But in my short hiatus from my main, I found that I really love playing my pally alt. Maybe I need to make a paladin blog instead. ^_^

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Dinaer - 100 Assassination Rogue (US - Sen'Jin)
Derence - 92 Prot/Ret Paladin (US - Sen'Jin)
Metius - 91 Shadow Priest (US - Sen'Jin)
Liebnitz - 100 Arcane Mage (US - Sen'Jin)
Fastad - 90 Subtlety Rogue (US - Sen'Jin)
Darishin - 100 Resto/Balance Druid (US - Sen'Jin)
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